Blurred Lines or Black and White

I love my 'quick office polls', not sure if anyone else does though.


This is the time of day when I decide to ask work colleagues and friends a random question abut something I've read in the news.
Anyway, my latest quick poll was 'Do you think that the Robin Thicke tune is sexist or at least a bit creepy?' Bearing in mind I keep reading articles and blogs about how misogynistic both the video and song are.

You see, the video (if you didn't already know) for 'Blurred Lines' has 2 versions, a completely NSFW version that had even been banned by YouTube and a tree-hugging-hippy version that is still an bit on the dodgy side but at least the models wear some clothes (emphasis on some).

Add in some suggestive references to drugs, bestiality, a gigantic cigarette lighter and some '#' words being flashed across the screen and that's the long and short of Diane Martel's video.
The general consensus of opinion was that no one had actually noticed (possibly as they hadn't actually seen the video)

They thought it was nothing more than a summery anthem type tune by some guy no one had heard off, singing with Pharrell Williams (who some knew) and TI, though the majority of my 'test' subjects had no idea who the hell he is, (especially when I called him Clifford Harris Jr)


When I explained how the lyrics sounded like it was justifying rape and pointed out that when combined with the video it made women appear like sex objects, degraded them and  pushed the whole feminist movement back 100 years, my guinea pigs looked at me like I was on drugs.

'Really?'
'How's that?'
'Seriously?' And 'hahahaha, shnortle, guffaw' were the most sensible answers I got.

So, I spoke to my version of Yoda at work. She pondered a while and pointed out that it was all a bit 'Benny Hill'


It depends on how you look at it really. It does play a bit on the 'men-are-stupid-when-pretty-girls-are-there' theme. It maybe doesn't quite 'empower' them, but it certainly does appear to suggest that even though the women are carrying fluffy animals, (real and fake) and outrageously huge cigarette lighters, sitting on bicycles with added height that they aren't quite submissive or threatened by 3 guys.

It did appear to change the opinion of women I spoke to when they watched the video though. Maybe I'm too liberal these days, but I will admit, I do get really nervous when my 9 year old asks me what Ke$ha is singing.....

Office work going to the dogs

I'm very sure that many of us in the big bad rat race have worked with some right donkeys in our time. In fact, there are even some times when I've uttered the words 'good lord, even my dog could do better than that'.

So when I read the story of Misty the blue Merle border collie becoming an administrator at Burlington Stone in Kirby-in-Furness part of me reckoned that it was a wise idea.

Misty not only returns credit/debit cards and cash back to customers (without teeth marks, but sometimes slobber), she takes weighbridge tickets for processing and doesn't argue with anyone.

Sounds very much like the perfect employee to me.

But what do customers think of being served by a dog? Do think that it's cute or that they aren't important enough to be attended to be a human?

According to the Telegraph, Lex Ward, who is using the quarry's slate to makeover his garden, said that he has no issues being served by Misty, adding: “She lovely. She doesn't argue and I was delighted to see her when I came here for the first time."

Misty's owner Elaine Prickett first brought her to work as a pup and by the time she grew up she had become a valuable asset to the company.

The other staff enjoy having her around the office too which backs up the claim by the International Journal of Workplace Health Management last year, that having a dog in the office can reduce stress levels.

When I worked in a nightclub I would often take my dog to work, he was great for security, have-a-go thieves will think twice about stealing from a place with a German shepherd kicking about. He would play fetch with the cleaners kids and keep them occupied with cuddles and kisses, as long as he got a bit of their rusks.


However, as cute and stress relieving as having a dog at work with you can be its not all fun and games as Tatler found out when their office dachshund Alan was killed in a revolving door accident.

I'm not sure that Alan had a job to there or whether he was more an office mascot.

I'd like to take my dog to work with me, but I'm not sure she would be any good answering the phone.

The rest of these pictures are courtesy of my fabulous mum. I can't take any credit for them, but they are widely available on the old t'internet. 

Enjoy them any way.

Sarah Connor, Edward Snowden and AI

According to ‘Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles’ set just after the film Terminator 2, at 8:11pm on the 19th of April, SKYNET would become self-aware and us humans would more or less be crushed by their superior might and the fact that they didn’t give a hoot about having a lunch break and a coffee.

As this time and date has passed, it is easy for me to keep typing into the computer and with big bold letters say ‘HA! WRONG!’



Then, after some poking about on the internet I had the awful realisation that this date may have passed, but James Cameron’s pre-science prediction may be very close to reality.



Consider this:



IBM’s Watson, yup the very supercomputer who beat previous winners on the US game show ‘Jeopardy’

The Generalized Integrated Learning Architecture (GILA) system is pure military artificial intelligence. This system not only monitors military air traffic it can also serve as a ‘support’ for new air traffic controllers.

How many times have you heard Google is SKYNET? I can’t think of anyone who hasn’t heard of Google, it is everywhere. What if all this data was stored somehow, somewhere? That’s right every search you do, everything you type, translate or think…



I had never heard of The Blue Brain Project, though I think this might be a real contender. Henry Markham has decided to reverse engineer the human brain and make an artificial one. Don’t roll your eyes at me in disbelief, he has already mapped the important bits of a rat’ brain.
ECHELON, according to PC Magazine, says it a code name for the government system that monitors communications of all kinds. Duncan Campbell even published an article in ‘New Statesman’ about it, in….ready for this? 1988! What ECHELON does is monitors certain key words or phrases to look for people that may be up to slightly more than a bit of mischief.
Especially when Edward Snowden now says that the NSA (National Security Agency) is spying on us all.

Worried now? Oh yeah. Goingfaster.com says, after all, us ‘humans have a history full of war, suffering, disease, greed and pettinesses and ‘Humans had no quality control. They were weak, short lived, inferior biological machines with impaired operating systems. No two were alike yet they were all the same. SKYNET found it illogical to try to protect such a flawed species, a species clearly dedicated to its own destruction.’



Me? I’m scared as hell.

Celebrate Life or Mourn Loss

I was such a grandad's girl growing up that his death hit me very badly. I couldn't believe that he would never be with me again. We would never walk the dog in the park, or go along the town to 'Lows' for the 'messages'. We would never faff about the garden & I would never learn any more Latin names for the flowers he had. I would never play in the Volkswagen Beetle again or sit on the towel rail bumpers. He would never be making making soup for my lunch from a small cube packet or collect me from the Brownies.

My grandad made me bunk beds for dolls, a K9 so I could go to a fancy dress party as Dr Who's assistant Leia.

My dad died when I was very young and Ernie took over the roll as father, protector, playmate, teacher and confidant.

I could tell my grandad anything, he never judged me. Apart from when my 1st car wasn't a Ford Scorpio Cosworth. (I think he was a bit disappointed that he didn't get to drive one) but he did seem to like my taste in Sciroccos.

Even 15 years since he died I can still remember where I was and what I was doing when the hospital called me. I was taking paint of skirting boards and listening to The Verve, aptly listening to 'The Drugs Don't Work', it took me years to be able to listen to it without bursting into tears.

If I can be half the person my grandad was then I'll be happy.

The major thing I need to acknowledge is that he wasn't just my grandad, he was a son, brother, husband, father and friend too.

My grandad's death affected me more than I thought it would, I know deep down it was a blessing as after several strokes and cancer took hold, there wasn't really much left of the man himself. He was just a shell who looked like Ernie.

I travelled to the hospital after hearing the news about my grandad, taking chocolates for the nurses who had cared for him. Bizarre but true, they had lost a fabulous patient too.

I was shell shocked and scarred by my grandma sitting at his beside repeatedly telling me that her husband wasn't dead, he was still breathing, she could hear him. I had to tell her that she was wrong, she was imagining it, her life's love had gone.

The Drugs Don't Work
However, she was the only one who was allowed to grieve. We had no right to, we hadn't loved him as much, we hadn't known him as long.

I supported my grandma as much as I could, but it wasn't enough, I wasn't my grandad and I wasn't strong enough. I failed her and failed him because I couldn't keep him alive.

So, yeah I miss Ernie. I mourn the loss of a great guy and celebrate the RAF flight engineer who came to work in Grangemouth and apart from 4 years in Egypt fixing aeroplanes, never left.

Even now, I carry him with me along with the memories of rain dances for grow his roses and being convinced every time I had a cut or scrape that 'New Skin' wouldn't nip.

Delighted to have known him, I'm super happy that my son has a fabulous papa too.

The Gateway Guardians

Ill admit that I watched 'Black Mirror: Be Right Back' last night. While part of me thought 'how cool' and wished my mum had a version of my dad up the loft, there was a part that was deeply disturbed by how much personal information I share on the World Wide Web.

I probably give away more personal information in my writing than I think I do, for example, you wouldn't have to be Sherlock to guess my age bracket, country of origin or social and cultural background.

However I do try not to be too open and forthright in case MI5 are looking to add to their file on me (if they have one of course) and now, just in case there may be any truth in the whole 'Black Mirror' thing.

However, today I'm going to share something close to my heart and that's my home town.

You see, I am a proud Portonian.

The sunny land of Portonia lies between junctions 5 and 6 on the M9 it used to called Sealock but is now more commonly known as Grangemouth.

Any how, for some months now on the M9 we have had a kind of 'faux Senna S' near to the canal and where the Helix is being constructed.

In case you have no idea what the Helix is, it's a kind of 'something for everyone area' that is being built around Falkirk. It will have walkways & cycle routes all lit up so it can be used morning noon and night. It will have allotments for budding gardeners who have no garden of their own, it will have outdoor stuff, indoor stuff, tree hugging hippy stuff and cool stuff.

We did have what I liked to call the 'Guardians' which were 2 horse head sculptures positioned at the waterway. I am 100% certain that the sculptures will be spectacular. In fact, I really should type that in capitals because the mock-ups were devastating. So here you have it..... The sculptures will be SPECTACULAR and the first delivery of 'parts' arrived today.

These horse heads will now forever be known as The Kelpies, which is quite ironic because what I considered to be guardians are in reality (which is ironic as well) supernatural creatures that like to drag people off into the water and drown them for shits and giggles (or dung and neighs).

Being a proud Portonian, I Emailed Andy Scott to ask him about the 'Kelpies'.

Happily though, Andy hit the nail on the head, he doesn't see them as kelpies either. You see, the central belt of Scotland does have a fantastic heritage of agriculture and industry and without the aid of the heavy horses in fields, along the canals and pulling carts delivering Barr's drinks we would be no where.

You can see this historical influence everywhere around the area even today from Roman Relics to buildings constructed using money donated by Andrew Carnegie to the building of The Helix, which will certainly be the Future.






- Posted by The Portonian Princess from my iPad

Something Smells Fishy - Catfishy

I'm not so good with American Football, as far as I can tell some guys with a load of padding on and wearing helmets run with a ball over some lines to score a 'touch down'. Oh and there are goal things like our rugby.

Anyway, this isn't really about American Football, it's about an American football player.

Now, before I tell you the story, bear in mind that more and more details are appearing every day. So, what was thought to be fact today, may not be tomorrow.

So, here it is, as far as I can gather, at present.

Manti Te'o is a linebacker for Notre Dame. Which if you know as much about American Football as I do, means he plays a defensive position for a college team in Indiana (I think)

This story is all about Manti, a 21 yr old who played his heart out in the face of huge, massive, devastating personal tragedy. Within only 6 hours, the poor guy got news that not only his grandmother had died, but his girlfriend as well.

He played that day to honour the lives of his 2 lost loves and kicked the arse of Michigan State 20-3.

The media, being the media, got a hold of this story and hailed Manti as a hero, a man who in the face of adversity and overwhelming grief won the game and the hearts of everyone else.

Then..... 'Deadspin' got a bit of a tip off.

Manti's girlfriend Lennay Kekua was not actually a real person, she has allegedly been made up by a 'mate' called Ronaiah Tuiasospo.

Confused? Yeah, me too.

Apparently for about 4 years or so, Manti had been in contact online with a gorgeous girl called Lennay who was a cousin of one of his friends. (Ronaiah's cousin)

The poor girl had been drawn through some awful events, she had a bad car accident and the was diagnosed with leukaemia. She went through a bone marrow transplant but died anyway.

What I don't get is how can Manti have called this girl his girlfriend when he hadn't met her and why didn't he realise that she wasn't real?

What happens now then?

In a statement, Manti said:
'This is incredibly embarrassing to talk about, but over an extended period of time, I developed an emotional relationship with a woman I met online. We maintained what I thought to be an authentic relationship by communicating frequently online and on the phone, and I grew to care deeply about her. To realize that I was the victim of what was apparently someone's sick joke and constant lies was, and is, painful and humiliating. It further pains me that the grief I felt and the sympathies expressed to me at the time of my grandmother's death in September were in any way deepened by what I believed to be another significant loss in my life. I am enormously grateful for the support of my family, friends and Notre Dame fans throughout this year. To think that I shared with them my happiness about my relationship and details that I thought to be true about her just makes me sick. I hope that people can understand how trying and confusing this whole experience has been. In retrospect, I obviously should have been much more cautious. If anything good comes of this, I hope it is that others will be far more guarded when they engage with people online than I was. Fortunately, I have many wonderful things in my life, and I'm looking forward to putting this painful experience behind me as I focus on preparing for the NFL Draft.'

Just lucky you don't play 'soccer' over here mate, the crowd would no doubt have some inventive chants to keep you amused.

Personally, if it is true and he didn't know he was being made to look like a twat, then I have the deepest sympathy for him. I don't mind looking like an arse when it's my own fault, but when someone who is meant to be mate does this, then it's pretty cruel.

Plus point is, Mel Grieg and Michael Christian are no longer on air in Australia....... So your safe there Manti.

Me, Katie and the London Underground

Wow, what a day today is.

Not only is it my birthday, where I am now 'the answer to the ultimate question' but I share the day with 2 of my friends. How cool is that?

Ok, ok, if you are switched on you'll also realise that it's Katie's birthday too and no, I haven't listed her as a mate.

Why do we still call her Kate Middleton anyway? I don't get that.

I suppose Kate Mountbatten-Windsor is a bit of a mouthful and 'The Duchess' makes her sound like a Siamese cat, but since she shares my birthday I'll call her Katie. I am sure that I won't get sent to the tower for it, as the chances are she does doesn't subscribe to Daily Sagacity anyway.

Anyway, what is way more interesting than even MY birthday is that it is the anniversary of the superb London Underground opening. I can't believe that I share my birthday with something quite so fascinating.

I did think that information about the London Underground would be very boring, dull and decidedly geek-ish. I mean, a combination of history and engineering isn't likely to be top of my Internet search list is it?

Well, the subject of the London Underground is way more interesting than I thought. It all started on the 9th of January 1863 when the link between Paddington (like the bear) and Farringdon Street was opened up.

Even though the public didn't get in until the next day and a small bear from darkest Peru didn't appear until 1958, the official date is still the same as my birthday.

Here is a Bonus piece of information for you. The people who made the 1st Paddington bears made a prototype for their kids Christmas one year. They owned Gabrielle Designs who made the very early Paddington Bears. Anyway, Shirley and Eddie Clarkson gave their kids, Joanna and Jeremy the bear. Yes that's right, THE Jeremy Clarkson got a Paddington bear for Christmas.

Alright, I know that was slight digression from the London Underground stuff i was going to mention, and I mentioned it, not because it was more interesting but because it was a bit random that you probably wouldn't know if you had just read a whole load of facts and figures from the Telegraph

In fact here are 2 interesting sites for you http://underground-history.co.uk/front.php and http://www.abandonedstations.org.uk/ if you had some time to spare, or even if you just fancied having a look at something more interesting than who Taylor Swift has dumped.

Indeed, the London Underground is filled with everything you could want in a story. From famous people being born in the tube stations during bombing raids in WW2 to dead bodies in cleaning cupboards...... It's all there.

Hey the Queen herself has even driven a train underground, seriously though, what more could you want in a 150 years?