Santa's Christmas in July

So, it's all happening today then. Just how much excitement can the UK handle?

We have had the Queen's jubilee, the Olympic torch relay and now?

That's right, Harrods has opened up it's Christmas shop. It's 151 days to Christmas and Santa arrives in his union jack painted convertible jaguar. Yeah baby!!


Ok, I realise that was a corny joke, but hey.... Who am I to miss the opportunity for a quick gag?

Anyway, its now officially time to get your arse into gear and avoid the Christmas rush by visiting the Christmas World department in Harrods, Knightsbridge, which is now officially open for business.

At Christmas crackers costing £1299 (no, I haven't missed out the decimal point), a replica of Tower of London and a pop up gingerbread Harrods, I'm sure I'll be just fine searching the Internet and getting smaller and more thoughtful gifts from British firms like Busy Bee Candles, Sugar Poke or a clock from Wags and Bones or my dog treats from Lily's Kitchen.


Then I know what I'm getting is special and helping to keep my hard earned cash in the UK.


Until then, I'll switch on the Olympics and watch Danny Boyle's efforts and some more home grown talent.







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Cannibal Cult Crew Kills

I am aware that I'm starting to sound like a zombie/cannibal expert or fanatic, but I just find it a bit interesting, maybe because I'm vegetarian and the idea of eating flesh freaks me out so much.

However, when I heard that 29 people had been arrested in Papua New Guinea as members of a cannibal cult I had to tell you.
The punchline is they were arrested for murdering 7 witch doctors, eating their brains (raw, as if that really matters) and making penis soup. The best bit is, they don't actually consider what they have done as being wrong and according to Police Commander Anthony Wagambie from the Madang province, they openly admit what they have done.
Ok, why consume the people you have murdered? Surely, killing them is enough? Apparently not.
Now, here it begins to sound more fiction than fact.
These cult members (approximately 1000 in total) are sounding a bit vigilante to me. See, firstly they are employing specially trained people to hunt and kill the sorcerers, then by actually consuming the flesh of the victims, they would absorb their supernatural powers, a bit like Sylar in the tv show 'Heroes' although he didn't have them as dinner.

In defence of the cannibal crew (if there is a defence for killing and eating someone) they maintain that these so called witch doctors were charging huge amounts of cash for their services or demanding sex from the villagers in return.
As the cannibal crew were consuming the murdered people to take on their supernatural powers, it's suggests that it wasn't because they reckoned the witch doctors were fake, but the 'sanguma' or sorcery charges were too high.
I do feel a lot of sympathy for Anthony Wagambie, as he doesn't actually have any dead bodies....... It's a bit hard to try someone with murder if there is no body. Not even any remains have been found.


Obviously Wagambie thinks they have been eaten..... - Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Clever Marketing or Chauvinistic Mayor

Gallus and Black Forest have a completely different meaning in Scotland when the words are strung together than when they refer to the Mayor of a German town.


However, in the real world, Triberg is a town in the Black Forest area of Germany and their Mayor is called Gallus Strobel. He is in the news cause he has set out separate parking areas for men and women.....

When you open a can of worms, you can't close the tin immediately, you have to let some wriggle away first.

His idea is wider parking spaces for women in areas that are better lit. Spaces for men are closer to concrete pillars and can only be reversed into. Now, depending on how this was marketed, this could be a great idea. However, he followed it up by saying that men were better at parking than women.

"In the new car park we found that two place were not rectangular, at an angle to the road and placed between walls and pillars; that makes parking difficult so we decided to allocate them to men," the 58 year-old mayor told Germany's Spiegel magazine.

Here's the bit where Mayor Strobel has tried to put the lid back on the worm can by adding, "there were great women drivers, and all women were welcome to try and park in the men-only spaces."


As a marketing ploy, this has worked brilliantly as now I know that Triberg is a town in the Black Forest and Gallus Strobel is the Mayor. I also know that being of the weaker sex, I can park my huge Audi A6 Quattro in a nice well lit area and not concern myself about my lack of driving skill.

What I will concern myself with though is that while nice Mayor Strobel has catered for women who lack driving skill he has completely ignored the requirements of the guys who can't even drive a hot nail into a snowball. But who am I to argue? If someone wants to give me a nice big parking spot while some dude wants to show off his hand/eye coordination in an area half the size, I'll happily watch the entertainment.

Oh well! You can't keep everyone happy I suppose.








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The Price of Patriotism, Wholesale Price...That Is

With the kickoff of The London 2012 Olympic Games just a few weeks away, a new US political furor has emerged in its shadow.

The offending uniforms.

Recently all sides of the political aisle, both on The Hill and in there respective partisan newsrooms, legislators and pundits alike have came out and condemned the USA's official team uniforms for the 2012 games.  It seems like such an insignificant issue to even draw a statement from the most powerful people in the country, let alone becoming news worthy for all the major networks.  But this condemnation alludes to a much large crack in the American Culture and the American economic system, a low blow that strikes a raw nerve with a country that is clawing at the barrel walls to avoid slipping deeper, and again, into another job destroying recession.

In recent weeks Team USA officially unveiled the uniforms that all their athletes will don for the upcoming Olympics in London.  At first glance the drew criticism simple because of their look, but after further investigation they have become a point of contention.  The uniforms were designed by legendary American fashion house Ralph Lauren, a staple in American style for decades.  However, they have been styled in a decidedly French fashion with berets for the men and neckerchiefs for the women.  Even the the colors of the neckerchief looks decidedly French with it appearing more 'Blue White and Red' rather than the hall mark American 'Red White and Blue.'

A uniform that the entire team representing America will be wearing as they showcase what their athletes can do on the world stage look French, but that isn't what has pushed this anger to a level that left Senate Majority leader Harry Reid (D) so perplexed that he could barely form a coherent sentence at a press conference.  It was the fact that these uniforms were all made in China.  At a time when the American job sector is suffering, and when pride before the Olympics is starting to build, the US Olympic committee decided to get all it's uniforms made in China.  And they will cost over $1000 to buy retail.

This goes to sum up the problems with American economic culture.  It's goods are styled on European design, made in China on the cheap, tagged with an American brand name, then sold to the public under the guise of patriotism for a price that can only be described as a small fortune.

Ralph Lauren profits, the Chinese workers profits, and America's Olympic team have a stain on them before they've even heard the first measures of their national anthem.


Written by:  Phil M.

Could Mermaids Encourage us to Pay More Attention

I'm used to reading that the US Government has denied that any it has any evidence of life outside of our universe. I am also used to reading that the US CDC says there is no zombie apocalypse.

However, when I read that the US Government said that, "No evidence of aquatic humanoids has ever been found," I wondered exactly what had happened that I had so obviously missed.


I mean, no UFOs, zombies, chupacabra, vampires or werewolves and now no mermaids? Then, to make matters worse National Ocean Service spokeswoman Carol Kavanaugh told The BBC, "We don't have a mermaid science program."

Gutted!

But seriously though, where did all this come about?

Well last week Animal Planet had their 'Monster Week'. As part of the week of shows they had a 2 hour mock-umentary, complete with CGI and fake scientists, called 'Mermaids: The Body Found'.

Now, don't get me wrong, it wasn't 100% fake, there were some real facts in there too, like the mass beachings of whales in 1990s and the unexplained 'bloop' sound that marine biologists found in 1997.

So it was more using fiction to explain fact.


Anyway, I watched it yesterday and I have to say that it was brilliant. It was wonderfully done. The pieces of fact merged well with the storyline that when apes came out of the trees, some stayed on land and some went into the sea.

As I said, its loosely based on fact, but does point out some interesting points.

Like for example, Polar bears evolved from brown bears and are now marine mammals. Babies can hold their breath under water easily. Humans and Dolphins will naturally help each other hunting and that some new species of sea mammals have only recently been discovered. Probably the most interesting piece of evidence is the amount of stories about mermaids in different cultures and civilisations spread about the world.

Hmmm......

I'm not sure who said 'never let the truth stand in the way of a good rumour', but this is fiction based on fact, a bit like Oliver Stone's 'JFK' not actual real fact.


That leaves us with a great conspiracy theory, a Roswell for mermaids.

I recommend that you watch it if you get a chance, it's awesome and does give you many more questions than answers, just like a great mystery should do. I just hope that it encourages more people to have an interest I the ocean and conservation.



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Pitbull Looking for Huskies?

I have a soft spot for Armando Christian Perez. Ok, I know it's not cool for a 40 something mother to like a Miami rapper who can sing in Spanish and English and has made something of himself. Someone who has gone from being kicked out by his mother for drug dealing to being a rapper, music producer, songwriter, business man, A&R man, presenter and actor, he has turned himself into a success.

He chose the name 'Pitbull' well.


So why am I writing about Pitbull today? Well as part of a promotion with Walmart, he will be sent to the branch that gets the most 'likes' on Facebook.

What a quality idea, Pitbull meeting and partying with fans.

Then, The Boston Phoenix newspaper started to encourage people to 'like' Walmart in Kodiak, (that is in Alaska if your geography isn't good). So the Miami born guy could end up some 225 miles south of Anchorage on the island famous for, yes you've guessed it, brown bears.




Probably the most amusing bit about this is that Kodiak Walmart has amassed more than 5 times the population of 'likes', currently sitting at around 47,250.

However Pitbull being the good guy that he is said, 'wherever the fans want to have a party, I will be there'.




I think that there is a definite split of people wanting Armando to visit, those who want to see him there and those who want rid of him from mainland USA.

Personally, I think that's a shame, in my opinion pitbull rocks. Like his name sake, he has proven that you can't judge a book by its cover.



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House Hunting with History

I have an odd body shape, well it's odd when you're shopping for clothes, cause they are always too tight somewhere or too loose somewhere. Basically, I have a small waist and a fat arse. You could argue that it's curvy etc blah blah, whatever, but the punchline is, it's a bugger to get clothes to really fit you.


Anyway, I always found that I could buy Versace jeans & they would fit me like the man himself had made them just for me........ Ah! I had Versace tops, trousers, jeans, dresses, jackets, the works. All were gorgeous, sumptuous and delightful to wear.

The man knew how to make short women with fat arses look and feel gorgeous (in my opinion anyway, I possibly looked like a right sight, but that's for another discussion).

Gianni Versace was murdered on his doorstep by Andrew Cunanan in 1997. I was upset at that because for the first time since Kurt Cobain had died that I felt like it affected me. Does that sound daft? Of course, later on that year we lost Michael Hutchence, Chris Farley and Princess Diana and public mourning was made more acceptable.


I'm not writing this blog about grief, 1997 or me not being able to hide my huge behind underneath some glamorous clothes, it's about Gianni's house, the house where he was murdered.

Known as Casa Casuarina, it was built in 1930 by Alden Freeman who modelled it on the Alcazar de Colon which is in the Dominican Republic. Incidentally that house is famous for being built by Christopher Columbus' son.
It has has 10 bedrooms. It has a gold lined pool. It has 11 bathrooms. It has a gold tiled kitchen. It is for sale for $125m or £80.7m.

Just now it's a kind of really posh place to stay that costs approximately $4000 a night. For that sum you get a personal butler, king sized bed, a living area of sorts and (oh my god) free wi-fi, which at the cost of $4k a night I'd hope the bloody wi-fi was free!


Of course, the real reason I'm not interested in purchasing Casa Casuarina is that it's not really to my taste. Although I do like the huge medusa mosaic, possibly that's due to having it stamped on my arse for most of the mid 90s.

However, I would feel guilty as hell if I was to redecorate 1116 Ocean Drive. I'm sure I would find out if the Devil really did Wear Prada.



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